Journal #4 8-15-09

Today….it was quite crazy…actually it wasn’t that crazy. Much less eventful than the last day. Woke up at a more reasonable hour, like 8:30 ish, and went to breakfast. Its weird that I already feel like I’m settling into a rhythm, a bit less energetic than I was yesterday. I haven’t even showered today, so I think after I’m done with this, I’ll take care of that missing piece of my day. I’ve been feeling so disgusting, and after all the bowling we did, I’m going to need more than just the normal shower time to get rid of all this guck on my skin. Ungh. So anyhoo, breakfast consisted of pancakes, a bagel, and coffee and juice, and some light conversation on the side. After breakfast we congregated for our morning talk, given by a woman named Tony, and I’m going to give my overall impression of the talk. It was about Ignatian Spirituality, but I felt defensive the entire session. She made it seem like if you didn’t believe in God, you were crazy. That if you questioned your beliefs, you are crazy. I felt like she was talking down to us, not engaging in a conversation with us. If you didn’t consider yourself spiritual, than you were “different.”I didn’t resonate with her beliefs and it made me feel quite uncomfortable to be in the same room where I didn’t feel welcome. My own spirituality is complicated.

After her talk we had an amazing lunch of pita bread, hummas, salad, TURKEY (the first meat I’ve had here since we arrived!), and egg salad sandwiches. Lunch ended and we began our afternoon session talking about Jesuit Volunteer expectations. Most of these we were already familiar with, however we also watched a movie on racism in America. This movie truly opened my eyes to a number of facts which I had not previously thought about. It brought to my sight the reason why white suburbia existed, why when ethic people moved into a place, the property value decreased, why whites would move out for economic reasons, why racism today is economic and still remains from years past. The reason why I am well off today has a lot to do with opportunities which were given to my ancestors, half of whom were white. The money they received from the GI bill went towards a house that they otherwise would have not been able to purchase. A similar family of a different race would not have been able to own a home in that neighborhood that they lived in. It made me think about all the areas I have lived in. Edmonds, primarily white. Woodinville, extremely white. Santa clara, kinda white (private school with a fairly high price tag). However, my story isn’t completely that simple, my dad is Hispanic which makes me wonder somewhat about his family history. A number of his family made it to college, and on to high paying professions. His family also seems more ‘white’ than the typical Mexican household. Its an interesting thought, to wonder how race relations and racism has impacted where I am today, now able to enjoy the priviledge of having graduated relatively debt-free from Santa Clara University, and to have the opportunity to participate in a year long volunteering program, where I don’t have to work for a year and still be well-off. I could go on longer about this but it is already 1am, and I don’t think I can stay out here much longer, its starting to get really chilly.
Anyhoo, after that I helped out in the kitchen making food for dinner plus a Mediterranean Salad for tomorrow, I tasted it and it is going to be delicious!!! After that we had dinner, mass (still awkward), and then left for bowling. We discovered a number of things about our group at this event. We all like to dance, Lucas has an uncanny ability to dance and make people laugh, we also found that we seem to get along pretty well as a group and we have a pretty high level of energy, which I think will be important in making this upcoming year a good one. I just had a great conversation with pat. Who are going to be living in the other DC house, I’m glad we have another place that we can go to if we ever need to go to it, and to have the support and comradery of another community that is only 1 mile away. Andrew also seems like a great guy who has a brother who went to Santa Clara and graduated in 2008. We’re all looking forward to what is going to come with this year and I’m glad I’ve been keeping up with journaling, it has been nice to be able to reflect at the end of each day, even if I am starving and sweaty at the moment. It still is a valuable thing and I’ll try to keep it up. Until next time.