Weekend of friends

    I write from the metro, yellow line, on the way to Greenbelt. From Greenbelt I will take the bus to BWI, then the light rail to the convention center, then will finally walk to the Hyatt Regency hotel in Baltimore. Why, you might ask, would I be making the trip to some hotel…in Baltimore? Well, its that time of year, when hundreds of EMT’s from all around the United States (primarily the east coast) congregate for the national EMS conference. We gather to network, to learn, and to party. I’m going there to meet a few good friends of mine who I spent a good amount of time with during my tenure at Santa Clara, as an EMT. The conference brings back nothing but good memories for me, the first and second years, the planner for the trip. This year I am going as a graduate, who just happens to be in the area. I’m so excited to once again see the group that meant so much to me, and still does mean a lot to me. Some of the EMT’s have already joking called me as their ‘bed mate’ but we’ll see how the sleeping arrangements shape up J. I almost feel spoiled for having such a good time these past few weeks, with the trip to Seattle last weekend, the trip to Baltimore to see the EMT’s this weekend, and next weekend I’ll be going to Raleigh for a party (to be following up with a med school interview in NY). This following picture is taken from Agua Verde in Seattle, WA on an uncharacteristically gorgeous day. 

Update: (return from B-More)

Once again, I write from public transit, as I head back to DC after spending the weekend in Baltimore. I had a blast! It was so good to see my friends who I hadn’t seen in ages (well, since last june) and to hang out a bit with them. I did attend a few lectures: Blunt Trauma, Burns, and Shooting Incident Management but did find myself passing out yesterday afternoon for a good 3 hours after taking some meds to help with my mouth pain. Oh ya, I had my wisdom teeth yanked from my mouth on Thursday. All four of them. And yes, I did it without being knocked out. Yes, I was awake for the whole thing. Yes, it sucked. Yes, I saw a lot of my own blood. Yes, I would do it again, 1: because it was cheaper, 2: because I felt like my awareness of the situation made the oral surgeon’s job a lot easier. I still am a bit swollen at this point on my left side, it seems the lower left wisdom tooth extraction was a bit more complicated than the others. For the first two days I only drank protein shakes and took pain meds every four hours, otherwise the real pain that was being masked made life pretty horrible. I hope that all the pain and swelling has resolved by next week so I don’t look like an idiot at my next interview. At least the surgeon said the procedure went well and that I should be up and ready to go in a week or so. I just find it a bit difficult to eat and to fully open my mouth. Also, I’m hesitant to move my tongue around lest it happen to find the sutures that are holding my gums together. My apologies to those of you who are squeamish.

Back to the weekend, I had a great time hanging out at the hotel, going to the aquarium, watching the hilarity of college partying that happens at these conferences, and the drama that goes along with it. I spent Friday and Saturday nights in Baltimore, sleeping on a nice ottoman (I think), it looked like a very long chair. It was actually quite comfortable, maybe I should consider one for my room…

Now as I head back to the house and get ready for the week time just seems to be slipping by so fast, before I know it I’m already doing the next thing. Who knows what the next week will bring, and hopefully I’ll be a bit better about updating. Until next time!

Essays

I thought it would be helpful to people applying to JVC or people considering it, if they read a bit about my application for a second year. The application itself was very helpful in figuring out what I would like to do next year. Below are two of my essay responses for the second year application.

If you're in a rush, and only read one thing, read the section about spirituality in BOLD found in Essay #2

Essay #1

 This year has been a year of transformations. I look back at where I was a year ago and it’s startling to see how far I have come. About this time last year I was clueless, lacked direction, was scared of the ‘real world,’ and in utter disbelief that my college experience was coming to a close. I didn’t want it to end, and I didn’t feel prepared to go out into the world. While I had been pre-med my entire life, I was still unsure if medicine was what I wanted to do with my life. From hearing about others positive experiences in JVC, I was led to apply to the program. With that pretext, I semi-blindly stepped out from college, hoping that JVC would catch me. More realistically, I was hoping that JVC would open my eyes and I would be able to have a better vision of the path ahead. Today, I can say that JVC has not disappointed me, for my vision is much clearer than at my graduation.
      As a Jesuit Volunteer I’ve been encouraged to continue questioning the status quo. With living a simple lifestyle I have realized that it is possible to live simply and in solidarity. Our house has successfully survived off $75 a month for each person for food. When I tell my coworkers about our style of living, they are amazed. It seems so ‘counter culture’ for six people to be living in an intentional community, making the decision to live simply, to live in solidarity, to live with a sense of spiritual direction. I have found myself continuing to find solace in my housemates, in the feeling that this year I have stepped through a door, challenged myself to feel uncomfortable and to do something about it. My year has solidified my commitment to pursuing a career in medicine, and I say this in a different way that I have said it before in years past. When I say that I want to be a doctor, I say it with confidence, knowing that I am excited to go to work every day in the clinic, that I’m having a direct impact on the well-being of others, and that I’m working to change a broken system.
      I’ve seen the impact my work has had, and want to do more. I’ve seen myself grow in my spirituality, and want to grow more. I’ve given myself to my community and want to give more. I have challenged myself in living a simple lifestyle and want to challenge myself more. This year has been one of my most formative years and I’m excited to see what the next year brings.

Essay #2
      Going into this application, I am not certain that another year of JVC is the right path for me. Earlier this year I was accepted into medical school and these past few weeks have been a struggle. I’ve discussed this on many occasions with my support people, my house, and my family. The reasons why I struggle over this are my apprehensions about next year being a JV as well as my excitement for beginning my career in medicine.
      I fear that given another year in the Jesuit Volunteer Corps, my mind could change about medicine, though I doubt it will. I fear that another year of being out of school will make it more difficult when I return (assuming I defer acceptance). College is still fresh in my mind and I feel that I am still at the top of my academic game. I think what I fear the most is losing the drive that I feel at this moment, the excitement that I feel about being accepted into medical school, and the enthusiasm which I have for being a doctor. Before reorientation, another year of JVC wasn’t on my radar, I was expecting that if I got into medical school, the decision would be easy: I would simply enroll that fall and that would be the end of it. What I am realizing now is that this decision has been anything but easy. I am constantly grappling with it, questioning my motives, trying to envision what path would be in my best interests.
      I don’t know a lot about what the next year will bring in terms of community, whether or not we’ll be able to get along as well as our community has this year. Like a few of the second year Jesuit volunteers said at reorientation, a big challenge is how to approach the year. Is it a continuation of this year or a whole new experience? It seems that it is a mix of the two, that in some ways I am continuing to commit myself to the four tenants, to community, to the program, and to my work. In other ways, it is an entirely new experience. The community will be different, the people that make up our house will be replaced by new ones. The tough discussions that we had this year will need to be brought up once again, and throughout it all, I will need to be open to letting things be different. I see a great challenge in keeping myself from assuming that the next year will be the same as this year, ie, having expectations about how next year should be. I also see a challenge in the transition from this year to the next. When we pack our belongings, say our goodbyes to our community members, and then are thrust into Orientation where there are new faces, how am I going to react? It will be very difficult to let go of this year so quickly and to begin a new one.
      This year, in living a simple lifestyle, I have come a long way. Simple living was one of the areas of JVC which concerned me the most. I’ve been a pretty technology oriented person my whole life, buying the new gadget as soon as it comes out or spending a lot of time on the computer. Technology has always been a part of my life I haven’t lived without. As a house, we came up with rules early on to answer the questions of how much technology we wanted in the house. We ended up coming to a resolution that everyone was comfortable with, we chose to get Internet access but to try to limit our use and to hold each other accountable. The transition to using the internet less was a difficult one for me and I saw that sometimes I would find myself going up to my room and checking email instead of spending time with the community. I wasn’t completely aware of how my habits were affecting those around me until the issues were brought up and since then, have been much more sparing with my internet use. In regards to the other area of simple living (simple fiscal living), I struggled at first staying on stipend. A few occasions during the first couple months I would use personal savings to supplement my income when there was something I felt that I needed to have, or do.  While today I can’t say that I am perfect when it comes to staying on stipend, I have come a long ways in being honest with myself and questioning my purchasing decisions. I feel that I have benefited from my changes in lifestyle, I feel connected with those that I live with, and have continued to maintain relationships with friends from college along with family. This Christmas I hand made Christmas cards for the first time and sent them out to 40 of my friends and it was so rewarding to get mail back from my friends with updates on how they were doing. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to handle maintaining relationship with friends before JVC but I have found that if I am intentional about staying in contact, it will happen. My efforts to living simply have made my time spent with the community all the more meaningful. I can now say with absolute certainty that I have made friends for a lifetime.
      Spirituality, I’ll be honest, was the one tenant I was not excited about when I decided to join JVC. I have a complicated history that has led me away from being a spiritual person. The churches that I was a part of going up did not preach a message of acceptance. Through college I found that I was content without spirituality. However, this year has led me to question my stance on spirituality and its value in my own life. My community has been understanding of my views and has allowed me to grow at my own pace. One conversation I remember having with another JV helped me discern spirituality and made me think in a new way. My argument to her was, how can we truly know if there is a God out there. We say that God is responsible for all these things, but where is he? Where is God in natural disasters, where is he in injustice, where is he in the wrong, where is he? How can you prove the existence of a God you can’t see, that only truly exists in your mind and in the mind of others who also believe the same thing? My feeling was that believing in a God is a cop out, giving up on truly discovering the reason for why things are the way they are. We can just say to anything, “Well, God made it that way, it is God’s will.” This was the reason given for so many things in history, until we found out how it works, through logic and science. I have seen people use religion as a justification for hate, justification for continuing a trend of injustice, justification for immorality. “God” was the justification for the Crusades, for terrorist attacks, for oppression, and so many other bleak spots on our history as a human race. I found it hard to get behind a God who had been used as an excuse. Her response was fairly simple. Believing in a God isn’t being absolutely sure. It’s about acknowledging that there will always be .1% of life that is unexplainable. That fraction of a percent of things we don’t know, that we can’t explain, is where God exists. Faith, is about having hope, because if you don’t believe in something, life can be very bleak. Faith is about how you want to live your life, how you see yourself fitting into this world. Her words have resonated with me and I’ve realized that there is a place for spirituality in my life.
      My work has also been a growing experience for me. When I came in, I was fairly confident that I would quickly get accustomed to working in a clinic because of my prior experience as an EMT. However, on my first day and during my first week, I felt like a fish out of water. While I did know how to take vitals, I had never used an electronic medical records system. I had never had a 7:30 to 4:00pm job. I had little experience with the homeless population. I had no idea how to order diabetic supplies. I could go on with all the things that I didn’t know how to do, but was expected to do. I’ve found that now, I am very successful in my job. I have a great relationship with my boss as well as all my coworkers. I feel like a part of a team. In addition, I have come to have a greater appreciation for work in the medical field and this year has been extremely formative in my decision to pursue medicine as a career. I know patients by name, I know their stories, their histories, the injustice that they have felt. I see that not all are treated equally by our medical system. There are those who have and those who have not. I see there is much work to be done and want to be a part of that change. The work that I do is work that gets me up in the morning. It is work that I feel is necessary and that I am called to do. I would love to have the opportunity to continue serving.

A Winter Wonderland: It's getting old.

So as you probably already know. It has snowed yet again in the DC area along with the entire north east.

While in the past, I've enjoyed the snow, loved it, cherished it, smiled as I watched snowflakes descend from on high, that is no longer the case. This is the second major snowstorm to hit DC this year, and my third in the past 14 months. These snowstorms have wrecked havoc on my life, altered plans, trapped me in my own home.

With that said, snow can go [profane verb] itself.

To be fair, snow can be beautiful. It makes what was a dirty city a white-washed winter wonderland. Yesterday I went on a walk around the block after the snow had stopped, and marveled at just how much of the white stuff had fallen. People were out and about, there were few cars attempting to make their way through it, and everyone seemed to be in a good mood, dressed up in their warmest clothes, making the best of a sticky situation. I took a lot of pictures which you can see.

In other updates, I was finally accepted into medical school! One of the two schools in Chicago gave me the green light, while the other gave me a yellow (I'm an alternate). Either way, its a huge relief and affirmation of all the work I've put in the past year. With that said, I'm still unsure what I will decide on doing this next year. The Jesuit Volunteer Corps has the option of doing a second year and since the re-orientation I've been heavily considering doing another year, as a volunteer in Washington DC. In many ways I am torn. The feeling of excitement that I have of beginning medical school is something indescribable. I just feel 'ready' to do it.

On the other hand I've had such an amazing experience this year, love DC, love my work, love having time to kick it on the weekend, and love being challenged to live in a way that I am allowed to grow as a person. I've been told that I have the rest of my life to work, and only one time in my life to do programs like this, to live as a volunteer and to be in a community. We'll see where I'm at in 6 months.

Today, as a brief recap, I woke up, finished my JVC Second Year application, checked my email, went to Starbucks with my house mate Kristina, made Mac&Cheese, and read a bit. Yesterday, I read The Perfect Storm, the first full book I've read in months, and I got through all 300 pages in a day. That's what happens when you get snowed in.

We'll see if I have work tomorrow, if the Federal Government is closed, than SOME is closed, and then, it will be another lazy day! Until next time.