A new perspective

Once again, it has been a bit of time since I've updated, and tonight was an occasion that I wanted to write down, to be cemented on the internet for all eternity, to be whisked off into binary code, stored on some server farm in god-knows-where, and then fetched by you (or me) as you read this.

I sit/lie in my bed, challenged, confused, angered, saddened, and a torrent of other emotions which continue to pervade my thinking.

I say this, coming from my first week back on the job after our JVC retreat, after a few days at work realizing that I'm one of those people who likes their job because I miss it sometimes, and when I get back I feel a sense of belonging. If you'd asked me one year ago: how do you see yourself in a year, I would have been too scared about moving into the "real world" to answer. I'd have said something to the effect of, I'll be missing college, friends, California, and then might have burst into tears (again, just to sweeten the story, its not like I'd ACTUALLY cry or anything, I'm kind of a BA). In all reality, I'm a bit too content with the way things are right now which is where tonight's story comes in which kind of threw me for a loop and really altered my perspective on an issue that I don't think about a lot.

Be forewarned, if you're not wary to controversial topics, then you should stop here, because you might actually learn something, and might do something about it if you read on. Consider yourself warned.

Of all the controversial topics on the market right now, the death penalty wasn't quite at the top of my list of ones that I cared about, or even gave much thought to. While I did struggle a bit with what this issue meant, I could see both sides of the story. From the "eye for an eye" school of thought, if you intentionally, with premeditation, commit murder you should be killed, simple as that. The other arguments of proponents of the death penalty include that it reduces the amount that taxpayers have to pay to house an inmate for life, it gives the victim's family restitution in a sense, a feeling that justice has been served. It keeps that individual who committed the horrific act from ever committing it to another person again.

This is all well and good, in my opinion, ONLY if we lived in a perfect world, which for all arguments sake wouldn't make sense, being that if we lived in a perfect world, we wouldn't have people committing murder. This being said, for arguments sake, lets say that murder still happens in this hypothetical world of ours. Murder happens, but the justice system works perfectly every time. The perpetrator is always brought to justice. In that world, where we know absolutely, that the convicted is guilty, we are able to serve a penalty that is equal to the crime committed.

What I learned today, was the face of how the justice system fails, even in the case where someone's life is on the line.

One of our fellow JV's who works for a non-profit who bring exonerated inmates to do speaking events around the US was in town for a few days working to set up future talks, and had brought one of the speakers with her. We had arranged to have a dinner with this fellow, we'll call him Dave, and to hear about his story.

Dave was convicted of rape-murder. Going into the case, he didn't exactly have a clean slate. He had been in the drug scene for a while and was an easy target for the prosecution. In short, he was convicted of murder and rape in the state of Oklahoma and was put on death row, where he stayed there for 17 years. He didn't know when he would be killed, but he had seen many fellow inmates die during that time and he knew that his time was short. One glaring fact remained, however, he knew he didn't kill the woman he was said to have killed.

The short version of the story is this. While acting on a tip, a police captain was looking through the office of a forensics scientist. This particular scientist was known to be able to do the impossible, to get convictions where others failed. This is why prosecutors flocked to her, and why she had such great success in her field. However, when the captain went through her office, he found a box of evidence, with the court seals broken (it is these seals which prevent evidence from being tampered with and make sure that evidence is adequate to use in the court of law). He opened the box and found the seals on each piece of evidence to be broken as well. He looked to see the case which the evidence pertained to, and it happened to be from Dave's. With that, the process of exoneration began, and 4-5 years later, Dave was finally released.

He told us that that he gets asked a lot if on that day, the day he was released, if he considers that the happiest day of his life. "**** no," he replies. During the two decades he was in jail he missed out on so many things including being near his mother who was terminally ill.

How would you feel if 20 years of you life was taken from you? I don't know if I would be able to handle myself as well as Dave has been handling himself. Taking the anger that he feels towards the system that stole his life from him and putting it to making positive and constructive changes, by getting his story out. I can see how others in his situation would be overcome with bitterness, anger, frustration, and allow it to manifest in ways most of us would look down on. However, how can any of us really judge them if we can hardly taste the indecency which they had been served?

Questions to think about.

http://www.witnesstoinnocence.org/view_news.php?Curtis-McCarty-Speaks-5

A break from it all

Sometimes, I find a time to listen to the silence. These times are rare, and most commonly occur when I'm writing, blogging, singing/playing the piano and just contemplating stuff. Though right now there are voices, sounds of shuffling, people's feet making muffled noises over the carpet, and the presence of hundreds of people around me, but while I'm writing, I feel like I'm in a bubble. 

This is an interesting time for me, a time that I have been thinking about for a while, a time where I'm putting myself out there and hoping that someone or something will be there to catch me when I walk the plank. Tomorrow is my first interview for medical school and though I've thought out most of what I want to say, gotten tips and pointers from those who have gone through the process, I don't really know what to expect. Yes, what I do know is that the format will be as such.


Wake up, early, at 7:00ish


Respond to nature's call


Shower


Shave if necessary


Get dressed up all shmancy in my new suit, make any adjustments or changes to the tie. 


Walk a few blocks from where I'll be staying to the building on campus where my interview will start


Put my best foot forward.


I'll repeat this again the following day with a different school, hoping that I haven't sweat too much from the day before to make buying a new dress shirt necessary. 


I think the best advice that I've gotten from someone is this, which I got in an email and was told to me before when I met with him. Let's call him Tom. Tom was introduced to me by a mutual friend who knew that I was applying this year. Tom is currently a practicing radiologist in DC and went to one of the schools that is near the top of my list. I met with him a few times, first just for lunch and to chat, and another time for him to give me a bit of a mock interview so that he could write a kind letter on my behalf, which going back to the previous post, is one of those gifts that doesn't come on Christmas or on my birthday. 

Listen - don't be nervous, be confident, you have a remarkable story which you should not forget. This is the time to think very highly of yourself, but not arrogant.

Make sure to show your personality and be charismatic! Really shine and be upbeat and smiley. Good eye contact, mimic your interviewers body language. Don't be awkward or fake. Strike the right balance. Show energy. when all else fails, ask the interviewer questions about their life.

I think this about sums up what will be going through my head during my interview, as I'm sweating under my hopefully composed exterior. 

Right now I'm about to board my flight, watching planes take off, people watching (but making sure never to hold eye contact - creeeeeepy) and letting my fingers and mind do a little exercise.

Overall I would say that I had an amazing break, both Christmas and New Years. For a change, I threw out the plans that I had to go to New York and had an amazing time with some new friends as well as with someone who means a lot to me. It was so last minute but ended up being all the better. I enjoyed the time that I spent with family and friends in Woodinville, and probably drank more coffee in the one week I was home than the two months prior. Starbucks, I'm sure, enjoyed the business.

In the New Years, it makes you think, or at least makes me think, where I was 10 years ago. 2000. It was the year of Bush's election, it was the year that Y2K was thought to bring our civilization back to the stone ages. I was in Junior High, an awkward ginger kid who was inspired by a teacher, Mrs. Vincent, or V, to pursue science. I played soccer for a select team and made the switch from the clarinet to the French Horn. All these things which I'm able to remember, after not thinking about them for God knows how long.  I feel like I'm dusting off those old neurons and firing them up all over again. I was confused with life, thought that if I just thought hard enough and used "the force" i could levitate objects. I didn't want to grow up. I stressed over what would happen after junior high. I didn't want to go do senior high, and be the little kid all over again. Junior high was bad enough socially for me, I literally had nightmares over this stuff. All these things, and more, happened a decade ago. What will I think in another 10 years, what lessons will I have learned?

Who knows, but I'm ready to dive in head first.